Daughters in patriarchal social order: A study on girl child in middle class families in Siliguri

Abstract

The title of my PhD thesis is "Daughters in a Patriarchal Social Order: A Study on Girl Child in Middle-class Families in Siliguri". Girl child in India has always been subjected to discrimination and negligence due to the overarching patriarchal ideals that value boychild over girl child. The social mechanisms for gender discrimination are reproduced in the family, in the peer groups, in the community, in language, consumption, at work place and in all other social institutions. The larger forces like globalisation, the market economy and consumerism have compelled urban middle-class parents to rationalise their family size and imbibe hedonism. Demographers have asserted that rationalisation of family size culminates to masculinisation of family, thereby reinforcing unwantedness of daughters. A counter-reality to this phe:1omenon of unwantedness of daughters is that alongside rationalization of family size by restricting reproduction to one child or two children, the educated urban middleclass, who are regarded as the intellectual class and harbinger of social change, seem to be freeing themselves, at least partially, of male-child bias and appear to be content with one daughter or even two daughters. They are repudiating the practice of daughter aversion and are welcoming them in the family. The focal point of this study is to reconstruct the understanding of the changing position of daughter/ daughters in the family, be it a single-daughter family or a family with two daughters or family with a son and a daughter and its implications on the girl child/children and for the gender relation at the larger societal level. The study focuses on reconstructing the praxis of 'acceptance' of and 'preference' for the daughters and the socially shHred perceptions behind such practices. The study is empirical in nature. Data pertaining to the research has been collected singlehandedly. The sample for the study, which comprises of urban middle-class families of Siliguri is categorised as (l) families with single daughter, (2) families having two daughters (3) families having one daughter and a son, and ( 4) families having more than one sons and (or) daughters. The rational of this sampling is that I wanted to compare the attitudes of the parents towards single daughters or two daughters and towards the son and daughters and examine how the elements of patriarchy and gender preference work in the micro locale of the interpersonal relations in family. The study exclusively covered the Bengali middle-class families who form the dominant ethnic community of Siliguri. I studied 120 Bengali households, selecting 30 respondents from each of the four categories mentioned above. A total number of 60 households from the Marwari community have also been incorporated in the study with a purpose to grasp the comparative perspectives in attitude towards daughters at the cross-cultural level. The thesis has been arrnngc<l in nine chapters including Introduction and Conclusion. Chapter 2 is Daughters in Patriarchal Social Order, Chapter 3 is Locating the Missing Girl Syndrome: A Demographic Study on In<lian Girl chi1d, Chapter 4 deals with the SocioEconomic Background of the informacts of Bengali community, Chapter 5 is The Reproductive Behaviour of Bengali Married Couples, Chapter 6 is The Nature of Upbringing of Daughter/Daughters in Middle-class Families, Chapter 7 is Self-formation of Daughters in Patriarchal Social Order and Chapter 8 deals with Daughters in the Marwari Community. The seminal findings of the study ctre -as follows: 1. The study argues that rationalization of family does not necessarily leads to masculinization of family. Urban educated middle-class parents do not regret of not having a son anct are content with having only daughter/daughters in the family. They wished to have a son but are not necessarily obsessed with the practice of son-preference. 2. A significant finding of the present study is that the need of a son is more materialistic than psychological. Though Indian parents tend to practice sonpreference due to the several benefits associated with having a male-child, the study explores another trend where urban middle-class couples go for a second child even if the first child is a boy. In this case they expressed their desire to be blessed with a daughter. Parents asserted that daughters are more affectionate and caring as compared to sons towards parents, especially in their old age. 3. The study observes that contemporary society is witnessing a departure in terms of traditional feminine role sets of women to new role sets based on accomplishments, independence and parity that are gradually making a headway. Parents prioritize their daughters' education and career over marriage. The idea of risk society as put forth by Deck ( 1992) highlights the rupturing of traditional ties and growing individualisation with the increasing nuclear families in modern industrialised society. The parents as well as the educated daughters are driven by the perception that in case marriage fails, they can have an independent life with their own jobs and economic independence. 4. Self-formation of daughters depends largely on the role played by parents in their upbringing. The changing attitudes and perceptions of the educated parents towards daughters have motivated them to realise their self-worth and be selfdependent and responsible individuals. The parents in such families, albeit not being completely free of patriarchal values, show a strong determination in raising their daughter(s) with the best possible amenities and opportunities. Daughters covered in my study appreciate the change in attitude of educated parents but still feel that a lot more changes have to be made for the well-being of girl child in the society. 5. The cross-cultural perspective from the two diversely oriented ethnic groups of Siliguri, the Bengalis and Marwaris, show differences in attitudes and nature of treatment of their daughters. The study has found that the differences in treatment of the daughters depend largely upon the nature of income and the differential materialistic orientation of the communities. The Marwaris being pre-dominantly a business community has a more materialistic approach to life in comparison to Bengalis. They normalise son-preference for the continuation of family business. Daughters lack the ability to contribute to family business once they get married. They lack their agency as they are compelled to live a life defined by patriarchy. Bengalis on the other hand are more liberal and compassionate towards daughters. They focus on education and career of daughters as they prefer cultural capital to economic capital.